Your shadow is that part of you which you don’t like. It’s the part you would rather keep hidden. You would prefer no one knew about it. Shadows can grow huge in social or work environments. For example, you may hide the fact that you sometimes forget, or that you don’t like certain things. And you may pretend otherwise. A common shadow for many people is, “I don’t know,” and they pretend to know when they don’t. For practical necessities, this works. But deep down they miss something of the greatness of life. This exercise heals your shadow. It lets you say no, or I don’t know, or I don’t want to, or I changed my mind, etc., in ways that others don’t mind.

When you confront your shadow, and look him or her in the eye, you discover a new freedom. You will find that your shadow which previously held you back now propels you to be larger than life. This exercise is about confronting your shadow, and so turning him into a powerful ally.

Exercise

- In this or any other exercise, do not harm yourself or another person. It is not necessary.

- Find a place where you can express yourself without reservation and hesitation. A room with good soundproofing works best, but in your car, or at the park would work too.

- Get a pillow, or any other suitable item. This will be used as the shadow object.

- Begin by mentally preparing yourself. Imagine that you are about to begin a sacred fight. This is, as if, a fight for your life, happiness, and freedom.

- Now, remember something you said or did that you don’t like. For example, how you ate that desert even though you were full, or how you couldn’t speak your truth to that person. This is the shadow aspect you will fight today.

- Remember the incident well, and keep bringing it to mind as you do the exercise. Allow the anger or the frustration to come up. Feel it. You can short-dialog with yourself to allow the feelings to surface. “Is that the best you could do …?” for example. Do not proceed further until you can feel the anger, or the disgust, or whatever negative feelings need to come up. This would only take a few seconds.

- Now, imagine your shadow has taken the form of the pillow. This is the perpetrator! This is the demon that made your life miserable!
(If a pillow is not available, you can also imagine a light-being in front of you which can be used as your shadow object. A physical object is not required.)

- Look at the shadow object (the pillow, or the light-being), and notice how it destroyed your happiness. Feel free to get outrageously mad at the shadow object. Groan a little, if you like.

- If it helps, move a little, or dance a little to allow the feelings to be felt. It would be, as if, you are a sacred warrior dancing in preparation for a sacred battle.

- Now, express your feelings through action, and take them out on the shadow object. Go ahead. You can talk to the shadow object as you destroy it completely.

- If you like, you can slap the object. You can also punch it. You can kick it. And you can stomp on it until the shadow object is dead. Remember not to harm yourself or another human being in the process. Continue for several minutes, or as long as you would like. Don’t hold back. Imagine this is a fight for your life.  The more energy you put into it, the better the results.

After this exercise, you may experience feelings of openness and deep compassion. You may perceive feelings on other people’s faces clearly, and you would respond much more effectively. You may give people hugs. You may start talking like a prince or princess. And definitely, if the exercise is done right, you will have a feeling that says, “I love being alive.”

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Click below to try it with me…

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NEXT: A Practice for Sense of Humor – Meditate On What Is

This exercise is similar to the practice of writing in a journal, but there is a key difference.  You will speak instead of write your thoughts.

Consider, for a moment, the idea of good and bad.  It’s normal for us to want the good, and keep away the bad.  That approach gets us 2% of the good we deserve, and keeps 98% away.  Why not learn a better way?  I propose that the bad is bad only if you reject it, or hide it.  On the other hand, if you accept it, or allow it to be seen, it is transformed into good.  Consider the two sides of a coin.  Let’s say the head is good, and the tail is bad.  Now, let’s say you want to put the head in your pocket, but keep the tail out.  Would you be able to do it?  You would only succeed in keeping the good away along with the bad.  But if you accept both, you may discover a much bigger “it’s all good.”   So, in this exercise, don’t push away the bad.  Allow it.

That you may not be responding with your best in some life situations is no one else’s fault.  On the surface, Freud may be right.  But ultimately it is no one else’s fault.  As you were growing up, and later through normal life, many ways in which you expressed yourself were not acceptable to others, so you started to suppress them.  Over time, you started to avoid those modes of expression altogether.  So they went to sleep.  Or, you have just never known that they existed.  Well, they make you all the more real and interesting.  This exercise will reawaken them!  You will be amazed at your ability to handle situations and interactions now which left you frustrated before.

Exercise

- Find a place where you will not be disturbed.  A room with good soundproofing is ideal.  But in your car, or in a park would also work.

- Pick a “home phrase,” which you will use during the exercise.  An example of a home phrase is: “I have nothing to tell you.”  But it can be any phrase.

- Give yourself a set time for the exercise.  Initially, 5 minutes are probably good.  Later, you can go longer.  Make an intention that you will not stop before the set time, and try your best to complete the time.

- Now imagine an audience in front of you. You will be reporting your thoughts to this imaginary audience.  Journaling is a “sending” activity—sending of your thoughts to an audience—as opposed to a receiving activity.  It’s yang, not yin.  Also, it is not simply talking out loud.  It is “sending” your thoughts “to” the imaginary audience.  The audience could be a group of people, or one person.  It could be a lover, boss, subordinate, parent, child, friend, devil, God, or anyone.  But be sure you do have an audience imagined in front of you.  For example, you can imagine you are in an auditorium, standing on the stage, speaking to a huge audience in front of you.

- Now, say your home phrase to the audience, perhaps gently, or otherwise, as you like.  Now say it again.  And, now, start saying it repeatedly.  Keep saying your home phrase to the audience, along with anything else you would like to say.  As you say your home phrase and meanwhile notice another thought occur in your mind, speak that thought.  Then, if you have something to say about what you just said, you can say that too.  A lively talk may ensue within minutes.  But at any time if you have nothing to say, don’t remain silent, and say your home phrase.  The only requirement of this exercise is to not remain silent, and say your home phrase if nothing else comes to mind.

- Remember, there is no wrong way to do this exercise, so long as you keep saying something.  Don’t hide what you consider bad.  Who knows, it may be received as a gem by the audience.  Whatever you hear the audience say in your mind, you can speak that too, if you like.

- You are now sending your thoughts to the audience.  As much as possible, do so without censoring, editing, or manipulating your thoughts.  Report them as they are.  Do not have any attachment to the thoughts.  Do not consider them to be “your” thoughts.  These are just thoughts that you are sending out to the audience, perhaps for their entertainment.  You are, as if, nonexistent during the exercise.  You are simply a clear and open conduit between the thoughts and the receiving audience.

- Continue speaking your thoughts for the set time.  At any time, if you run out of things to say, start saying your home phrase.  Then you might hear yourself think something like, “what is this…oh, I am just doing an exercise… where should I go now… I will tell you about that vacation I had… etc.”  Otherwise keep saying your home phrase.  Even if all you have to say for the entire time is your home phrase, it’s okay.  It does not happen though.  Usually after two or three repetitions of the home phrase, you will hear other internal comments.

- Continue in this way until the set time is over.

After the exercise, perhaps make a note in a diary or journal.  Something like, “journaling, 5 mins, felt odd/sweet/dreadful etc.” or maybe just a check mark.

Done correctly, this exercise will make you feel significantly different the veryfirst time you do it.  It does not require weeks and months of repetition to show you its power.  A sure sign that you’re doing the exercise correctly is you start speaking in rhyming words.  Another sign is you start to feel good during the exercise.  I once started dancing to an ambulance siren.  Odd, but, oh joyful!  Here is an example of journaling:

“I have nothing to tell you.  Wait a minute.  I do.  Do you know that I like to eat bananas for breakfast?  But why would you care?  My car needs a tune-up.  I haven’t gotten a raise in a while.  Dancing is fun.  I know it’s not related to what I was telling you.  Are you all having fun?  I don’t like having to… ” and so on.

This exercise can be done whenever and wherever you want, until you feel you no longer need it.

Optionally, during the exercise, you can become still, and stop all bodily movements.  Also, during the exercise, you can fix your gaze at a point, and you might feel powerful energies awakening within you.

It is very useful during the exercise to keep your attention diligently on your thoughts.  It can be said this exercise is all about keeping your attention on your thoughts.  Try not to let any thought escape expression.  It is also very helpful to remember that there is no wrong way to do this exercise as long as you keep saying something.  Enjoy.

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Click below and say goodbye shyness -

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NEXT: Be the Life of the Party – Energy Dancing

Just for fun, I invite you to try this: Stand up and face any wall.  Imagine an audience in front of you that may be intimidating.  Say to them, “I have nothing to tell you.”  Start saying this to them repeatedly, and meanwhile, feel free to tell them anything else that comes to mind.  There is no wrong way to do this exercise.  There is nothing you are forbidden to say in this exercise.  Do this for a few minutes just as an experiment.  What do you experience from this?

This simple exercise works miracles in bringing you out into the world, and closer to yourself.

Do you know that many of your dreams are achievable?  What stands in the way is fear.  There are amazing ways now available to dissolve fear.  You can examine many types of fears and dissolve them.  You can illuminate your blind spots to opportunity and enjoyment, get the motivation to make those calls, and discover routes that shortcut years and years of frustration.

On this site, you will find exercises that can lead to quick transformation.  Try them and let me know how they work for you.

SIGN-UP FOR COACHING OR ASK QUESTIONS AT: Gaven.Azad@Gmail.com

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NEXT: A Calm Power – Observing the Mind